Whenever I mention our budget spreadsheet, someone asks to see it. I've hesitated because money feels personal, and because Bay Area numbers can look absurd to anyone living anywhere else. But I also remember how much it helped me, back when the twins were newborns, to see real numbers from real families. So here's ours, as of this month.
Quick context: Dan is an HVAC technician, I'm a dental hygienist working three days a week, and we rent a two-bedroom duplex in East Oakland. Theo and June are about 27 months old.
What comes in
Our combined take-home pay, after taxes, health insurance premiums and Dan's 401(k) contribution, averages about $8,650 a month. Dan's check swings with overtime. Summer and winter are busy for HVAC, spring and fall are slow, so I budget on his slow-month pay and treat anything extra as a bonus.
Where it goes
Here's a typical month, rounded to the nearest five dollars.
| Category | Monthly |
|---|---|
| Rent (2-bed duplex) | $2,650 |
| Childcare (home daycare, 3 days/week, two kids) | $2,100 |
| Groceries and household supplies | $1,050 |
| Utilities (PG&E, water, garbage, internet) | $340 |
| Phones | $85 |
| Car insurance (two cars) | $210 |
| Renters and term life insurance | $75 |
| Gas, tolls and car maintenance fund | $360 |
| Car payment (my car) | $295 |
| Diapers, wipes, kid clothes | $180 |
| Eating out and takeout | $160 |
| Subscriptions | $35 |
| Gifts, birthdays, misc. | $110 |
| Emergency fund | $500 |
| Kids' savings accounts | $100 |
| Sinking funds (holidays, medical copays, annual bills) | $400 |
| Total | $8,650 |
Yes, it zeroes out on purpose. Every dollar gets a job, even if the job is "sit in savings and wait."
The two giants: rent and childcare
Rent and childcare together eat about 55 percent of our take-home. That's the Bay Area reality. Our rent is honestly on the lower end for a two-bedroom here, because our landlord hasn't raised it much since we moved in and because the duplex is old, drafty and has a kitchen from roughly 1987.
Childcare is where having twins stings. Our home daycare gives a small sibling discount, but it's still two kids, three days a week. We picked a home daycare over a center partly for cost and partly because the caregiver is wonderful. On my two days home, it's just me and the chaos.
Groceries: the category I actually control
Groceries are the most flexible line, and it's where my Sunday meal prep earns its keep. A little over a thousand dollars for four people, including toiletries, cleaning stuff and the occasional bottle of wine, is about as low as I can get it without it becoming miserable. I shop mostly at a discount grocer, buy meat in bulk and freeze it, and plan dinners around what's on sale that week.
What we cut in the last year
When childcare costs kicked in, we had to find about $900 a month. Here's where it came from:
- Takeout: from about $450 a month to $160. This was the biggest and the hardest.
- Subscriptions: down to one streaming service and one music service. We rotate the streaming one every few months.
- Phones: switched to a cheaper prepaid carrier. Saved $70 a month, and I haven't noticed a difference.
- Dan's truck: it's paid off, and he drives a work van on the job, so his gas costs dropped a lot.
- Utilities: we got our PG&E bill down with some renter-friendly fixes. That one deserves its own post.
- Gym memberships: canceled. The twins are my gym now, and the stroller loop around the lake is free.
What we didn't cut
We kept the emergency fund contribution, even when it felt tight. Dan's income is seasonal, and one slow month plus a car repair can snowball fast. We also kept a small eating-out line, because a family that never gets pupusas on a Saturday is a family that eventually orders $80 of delivery out of pure despair.
How it feels
Honestly? Tight but steady. We aren't saving for a down payment yet, and that's a real source of stress when I look at Bay Area home prices. But we aren't carrying credit card debt, the emergency fund is at about three months of expenses, and when the twins start transitional kindergarten, the childcare line will shrink and we can redirect it.
If you're in a similar spot, I'd love to hear what your biggest line is and what you've cut. Sometimes the best money ideas come from other tired parents.
